Reflections of T'Khasi (The Vulcan Diaspora)
by T'Avri
Summary: An ongoing series of philosophical reflection vignettes which center around Vulcan survivors after the destruction of their planet due to the Narada's interference. Each entry is written from the first person perspective of one survivor now relocated to New Vulcan. Features Surak's Analects/Vulcan Philosophy/Vulcan Culture/ Vulcan Golic Language {WIP: Updated 11/1/2014}
1. Reflections of T'Khasi (FSE Edition)

_**WORK IN PROGRESS! Stay Tuned for UPDATES!**_

_**"Of Anger" added 11/1/2014**_

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When complete, this will be a series of twenty short philosophical reflection pieces centering around surviving the destruction of Vulcan (T'Khasi) after the Narada's interference. Each entry is written from the first person perspective of a survivor now relocated to the settlement on New Vulcan. Surakian philosophy will be used to dissect and rationalize the logical and emotional responses to the tragic loss of the Vulcan homeworld's distinctive and complex culture within a given theme. Detailed anecdotes for each _Reflection_ in regards to Surakian philosophy and specific cultural information are included and shown at the bottom of the page.

For reference to the teachings of Surak in greater detail, I encourage the reader to explore { kirshara . wordpress . com }. This site contains an extensive archive explaining T'Khasi culture and history and is home to a project for the ongoing translation of the Surak's _Analects _in both Federation Standard (FSE) and Modern Golic Vulcan_. _

_Reflections of T'Khasi _will be offered in both Federation Standard (FSE) and Modern Golic Vulcan for the benefit of spreading knowledge and furthering works in the language of T'Khasi. **Click the Chapter Listings tab to switch over to the Golic language version.**

For more information and forums about translation go to { www . korsaya . org }

...

...Of course, _Paramount, CBS _and their affiliates own all characters and references to _Star Trek_; I find it most agreeable to merely ponder over these concepts without making a profit.

Please do not repost any of these entries without my permission_. Your reviews are greatly appreciated!_ Please be sure to leave one before you step off the turbolift.

_Current detailed updates of all my stories are available on my profile page. Thank you for reading! Cha'i t'naat! _

* * *

**Reflections of T'Khasi  
**\- The Vulcan Diaspora -**_  
_**

__"Disciplines that can be abandoned in times of hardship when disciplines are most needed are no disciplines at all."__

__\- __An excerpt from Surak's__ Third Analects__

* * *

I. _Of Grief (T'tushat)_

All of us have fallen like grains of sand upon the Sas-a-Shar, dispersed into the vastness of the infinite All, into the great ordered void.

We weep knowing it is not rational, but how does one find logic in this time of our Immeasurable Loss?

For millennia, our mastery has stood between us and certain annihilation; it has been the cement of our civilization. Now, it is through the acts of one Sundered that we find ourselves stripped of our rationality again.

There is no validity to coincidence, yet it is by means of another's time that we have arrived to this point.

Is it the impact of our past, of the still open wound of our separation between T'Khasi and her passions through Surak's deliverance, or is it merely through fault of those who infringed the great barrier from an alternate time?

Logic dictates it could be both, either or none.

But as I look up to the infinite expanse of stars, my logic fails me.  
Nevasa will never again shine so bright and the haunting call of the teresh-kah will cry no more.

* * *

II. _Of Silence (T'ralash-fam'es)_

Gol no longer stands silent in reverence, but silent in spirit.  
Her once towering peaks no longer cast their cooling shadow upon the people of T'Khasi; the fierce le-matya no longer is tamed nor finds succor in her shade.

The Kolinahru's vigil has ceased and no longer do the Masters stand as our patient guides; the steadfast pillars of Total Logic have crumbled.

A great breathless wind strafes across the vast Forge to the Pasutra t'Tai-la, unseeing, indiscriminate, merciless; unawares to all logic.  
It whispers throughout the twisting caverns of the monastery before traveling onward beyond its walls, to waste.

It's pilgrimage is sacrilege; it follows in the footsteps of the acolytes in its course up the thousand steps of Mt. Seleya.  
It steals away the last moments of our Dawn before it suffocates the fires of our ancestors whom once burned eternally within its sacred walls.

Now, the honored firepot no longer fumes; it has been snuffed out. The smoke only lingers above the chilling embers of our collective loss.

The reassurance of our ancestors sings out upon deaf ears, only in our Consciousness.  
The Urns of Memory have been shattered upon the ancient hewn floors, the katras of our forefathers strangled in one unforgiving breath.

Silenced for all time, the songs of our ancestors are only sung in the hearts of those that have been spared.

But for the physical shell that remains, we have in fact not been spared of an absolute silence which persists.  
I stand amongst the survivors of our race, at least what is left of the many, of the innumerable grains of sand now cast aside.

I stand in silence, extinguished.

* * *

III. _Of Fear (T'pthak)_

I remember as the burning skies reigned down upon the sacred Forge, as the ground shook and great Seleya collapsed in the distance. The dust of so many golden ages fell upon us in this upheaval.

I recollect how the children lost their control and cried out helpless, distraught; what was once the safety of home now meant to swallow us all.

Everything in flames, T'Khasi was consumed by the Ket-cheleb of legend, towering over us hungrily, greedily.

Unconscionably.

I shielded my eyes and turned away.

Away, only to stare blindly out into the darkest of days through split fingers, peeking out towards the devastating pyre on which remained what was left of our noble and ancient race. For all of our Burning Blood, I believed there was none of us whom could have withstood such overwhelming adversity.

Immobile, I remained entranced, caught in the sublime realization that my very heart was blackening to ashes, collapsing within me with the rest of my world. I survived in that moment to only see everything I have ever known reduced to tinder and dust.

I worked to compose myself, to find enough discipline to look within for strength and order; a teaching, an axiom, a wise phrase passed from our ancestors to guide me. But there were no such words that could convince me, no logic left to propel me on a true course. There was only the visceral ache as my heart turned to cinder in my side, as the embers of it floated up towards the stars to entwine with the All, and the rest of me remained unmoved.

I wanted to take a futile step forward to action, any action, but I was capable of only stumbling back. I fell flat, supine, useless into a burning house; my eyes closed tightly as I visualized my life seared away to nothing, my katra released to the airless vacuum of space to be one with nothing, as if one had never existed at all.

Instead of running, I lay still, head bent and quaking, in contact for a few moments more with the hearth of our origin. Inert, stupefied, engulfed.

I am no hero, and barely even a survivor; only my inaction served to spare me, and my advantage over so many now lost was mere inability.

What could I have done?  
What could any of us have done?

In those last moments I turned to pure energy while countless others were left to char; I ascended into the safety of the heavens, unable even in escape to urge my hand forward, to grasp fruitlessly one last time at what little remained.

Surak teaches us to cast out fear, that there is no room for anything else until you _cast out fear._

Despite his example, of which saved our people so long ago in the Awakening against improbable odds, I had surrendered to sleep in this burning house, willing its collapse.

Let it take action when I could not.  
Let the timbers of this blazing manor fall, the walls to brace inward.

Let it do what it must as I was unable, for I remain still of the hearth.

* * *

IV. _Of Anger (T'reshan)_

_Parted from me, yet never parted; ever and always touching and touched_.

Ripped from me and torn asunder, I felt an overpowering burning within my heart in the final moments of T'Khasi's destruction.

I was safely aboard a freighter only hours from home, and you; you were so close I could smell the kevas incense in your hair.

So close, I could almost feel the heat of Nevasa on my cheek.

Suddenly, I found that I could only gasp and clutch helplessly at the bulkhead as I heard your last thoughts sear across my mind, your final anguished screams emblazoned on my very soul as our world was rendered to insignificant debris.

I reached out for you, every tendon and muscle taut and aching, slammed my fists into the metal plating knowing the action was futile. I knew in moments it was already too late.

As I closed my eyes and tried to make sense of your terror, I could never have calculated the total ruin I would soon face. I could only visualize you in our home in T'Paal, reaching towards the heavens as helplessly as I towards you across empty space.

Diverted away, I had soon discovered there was not even a body to recover, not a home left to grieve in. Nothing of our lives together remained.

With each breath I now take, I am reminded of the great emptiness of your absence and am crushed by the imprint on my soul of your last breath. I find this involuntary action of breathing is the only remnant of our lives once intertwined.

In reflecting upon the great wisdom of Surak, he teaches us that "Where fear walked, anger was its companion." I remember when we would study _The Analects_ together, how I took those words to heart, secure in their guidance and trusting that through careful discipline neither of us would know anger or fear.

But in feeling your dread and death, now I can not help but think that I have nothing left, least of all to fear, after the total annihilation of my home and of all that I have ever known and cherished; of everything in the physical realm that defined me as an individual.

And of you.

At times it seems that all I have left is to stumble drunkenly full of my own anger; Ket-cheleb destroyed all that was precious to me, yet I seek him out as sole comfort and companion. I seek his strength and indomitable will where I have none left of my own.

But it is illogical and it is wrong to succumb to one's desires, especially when motivated by an emotion as dangerous as anger.

Yet, I routinely find myself at a loss in meditation, lacking discipline or logic, unable to satisfy this need in me to lash out against those who have wronged all of us. As our world was consumed in fire, so is my very heart consumed with the overwhelming need to take action, to tear those who would hurt you, to rip them apart and leave them as I am left; with nothing.

But, I know that to do such a thing would only serve to make me as depraved and corrupt as those who so mercilessly obliterated most of our entire race.

As in life, the wisdom and rationality of your example pulls me back and sobers my step. It would be a disservice to you and to the life we once shared together to allow anger to rule. In the end, while I find it immeasurably difficult to live without you, how would allowing my anger to reign change any of this?

What is, is. (Kaiidth.)

You are gone and all that is left is me to honor you.

_Parted from me, yet never parted_, I will always remember you with each labored breath.

* * *

_To be continued in the following Reflections..._

V_. Of Revenge (T'ran-pleth)  
_VI_. Of Injustice (T'ri'yeht-gav)  
_VII_. Of Darkness (T'mu'gel'es)__  
_VIII_. Of Pain (T'kusut)  
_IX_. Of Dissolution of the Self (T'fezhaya t'shai)  
_X_. Of Meditation (T'kohlan)  
_XI_. Of Existence (T'kya)  
_XII_. Of Logic (T'ozhika)  
_XIII_. Of Change (T'rubah)  
_XIV_. Of Mastery (T'tren)  
_XV_. Of Legacy (T'visak'a)  
_XVI_. Of Light (T'hagel)  
_XVII_. Of Forgiveness (T'pabukh'es)  
_XVIII_. Of Peace (T'sochya)  
_XIX_. Of Acceptance (T'naran)  
XX. Of New Beginnings (T'uzh-palikayalar)_

* * *

_**Cultural Reference Notes:**_

1\. The opening excerpt is from Surak's _Third_ _Analects,_ and is mentioned in the novel _Vulcan's Soul: Exiles_ by Josepha Sherman and Susan Shwartz.

_**I: Of Grief  
**_1\. Sas-a-Shar is the name of the desert that extends from the capital city of Shikahr, Vulcan.  
2\. The All or _Nome_, is a central concept of Vulcan philosophy and states _"An infinite variety of things combine to make existence worthwhile."_  
3\. "The Immeasurable Loss", or Va'Pak, is the term used by Vulcan's to describe T'Khasi's annihilation by Nero.  
4\. _"Logic is the cement of our civilization, with which we ascend from chaos using reason as our guide."_ is a quote attributed to T'Plana-Hath, one of Vulcan's greatest philosophers from before The Time of the Awakening. Surak was a student of T'Plana-Hath, and she is often called "The Prime Mover of Logic."  
5\. The Sundered are Vulcans who left during Pre-Reform, who eventually become better known as Romulans.  
6\. Nevasa is the name for T'Khasi's sun. It is better known as 40 Eridani A.  
7\. A teresh-kah is a silver winged predatory bird that would be typically found flying over the Forge.

**_II: Of Silence  
_**1\. Pasutra t'Tai-la, the Plateau of Tai-la, is a sacred plain where adepts fulfil the final rites before becoming a Kolinahru.  
2\. Vulcans are telepathically aware of each other in a collective consciousness although as individuals they function autonomously.  
3\. The Hall of Ancient Thought was attached to Mount Seleya and housed the vre'katras containing the essences of T'Khasi's most revered ancestors. An 'Urn of Memory' or vre'katra is a sacred crystaline vessel made of volcanic glass called _jasif, _and contains a single katra. (_The_ _Way of the Kolinahr_, Last Unicorn Games)

**_III. Of Fear_**  
1\. Ket-cheleb is known as The Drinker of Blood, the god of anger and destruction, an entity who consumes mercilessly. He is the most dangerous and malicious of ancient gods, and an archetype who evokes great fear from within the Inner Chorus.  
2\. The reference to Burning Blood compares the situation of T'Khasi's destruction to the madness, entropy and loss of control experienced in pon farr. Much how a Vulcan is a victim of their own biology, they are also a victim in this scenario of personal devastation and terror outside of their control.  
3\. A hearth is the ground within a fireplace or brazier; not to be confused with Earth.  
4._ "There is no room for anything else until you cast out fear" _is attributed to Surak. While one must acknowledge that fear exists, you can also not simply pretend to not be fearful. Acceptance of fear is the only way to conquer it. One must experience and move through this emotion; in that way, it is possible to move beyond it and in turn, past the Unknown.

_**IV. Of** **Anger**  
_1\. "_Parted from me yet never parted_..." is the traditional phrase said between intended bondmates during the _koon-ut so'lik_, the Vulcan marriage proposal, as well as at the beginning of the _kun-ut kali-fi_ marriage ritual.  
2\. Kevas is an organic compound burned in Vulcan homes and shrines as ritual incense. It is commonly traded by Vulcan merchants, usually in tandem with trillium.  
3\. T'Paal is a larger settlement located southwest of the monastery of Gol and overlooks the Voroth Sea.  
4\. _Kaiidth_ is a common axiom repeated amongst Vulcans which reaffirms the futility of arguing or fighting against a state of events that are immutable.


	2. Haulanlar t'T'Khasi (Golic Edition)

**WORK IN PROGRESS** : Golic translation for T'reshan added 4/24/2015

The following translation is rendered in t'gen-lis Gol-Vuhlkansu, the Modern Golic Vulcan language. This work is still actively in progress, and eventually all parts will be updated as translation is completed. Thank you for your continued readership and patience.

Great thanks are in order for the dedicated work of T'Prion and Sya in translating this work into Modern Golic. _Cha'i t'naat.._ With great respect, Thank You!

For information or to learn Ancient and Modern Golic Vulcan language and culture, explore and talk in the forums at { www . korsaya . org } For reference to the teachings of Surak in greater detail, I encourage the reader to explore { kirshara . wordpress . com }. This site contains an extensive archive explaining T'Khasi culture and history and is home to a project for the ongoing translation of the Surak's _Analects _in both Federation Standard (FSE) and Modern Golic Vulcan_._

...

...Of course, _Paramount, CBS _and their affiliates own all characters and references to _Star Trek_; I find it most agreeable to merely ponder over these concepts without making a profit.

**Please do not repost any of these entries without permission**_. This is a collaborative project and reflects the hard work of multiple individuals to write and translate._

_Your reviews are greatly appreciated!_ Please be sure to leave one before you step off the turbolift.

_Current detailed updates of all my stories are available on my profile page. Thank you for reading!_

* * *

**Reflections of T'Khasi / Haulanlar t'T'Khasi  
**\- The Vulcan Diaspora - Eik-bashan t'Vuhlkansu -

_"Disciplines that can be abandoned in times of hardship when disciplines are most needed are no disciplines at all."_

_-_An excerpt from Surak's_ Third Analects_

* * *

**I.**_**T'tushat (Of Grief)**_

_Ki'tev-tor ek'etek spo'kap-yarlar t'maszhiv fi'Sas-a-Shar- pusaganal svi'masuk'es t'Vaik'Ek- svi'lo'uk zehlal gosh._  
All of us have fallen like grains of sand upon the Sas-a-Shar, dispersed into the vastness of the infinite All, into the great ordered void.

_Tusau etek faian ri nam-tor utvau-yehat-hi uf tal-tor veh n'ozhika svi nash'wak t'Va'Pak t'etek?_  
We weep knowing it is not rational, but how does one find logic in this time of our Immeasurable Loss?

_Na'zhol tevunlar-lamal n'mnu t'etek svi'etek heh yehat ek'staya; ki'nam-tor kuterek t'sutenvaya t'etek._  
For millennia, our mastery has stood between us and certain annihilation; it has been the cement of our civilization

_I'wak-nam-tor fna'bae-coklar t'veh Seheikk'he ta tal-tor etek shalar fleital t'utvau-yehat-es va'ashiv._  
Now, it is through the acts of one Sundered that we find ourselves stripped of our rationality again.

_Ri nam-tor skan na'kisheya- hi nam-tor be'yutlar t'wuh'ashiv wak t'veh ta ki'lashal etek na'nash sfekau._  
There is no validity to coincidence, yet it is by means of another's time that we have arrived to this point.

_Nam-tor kwul t'vesht t'etek-t'tu'ash skek t'etek lo'uk dashaya svi T'Khasi heh shaukashlar t'ko-veh fna'tefuk t'Surak- il nam-tor goh fna'lafot t'eifa vi klal n'lo'uk foshek s'vathu wak?_  
Is it the impact of our past, of the still open wound of our separation between T'Khasi and her passions through Surak's deliverance, or is it merely through fault of those who infringed the great barrier from an alternate time?

_Stariben ozhika ta vesht kup nam-tor on-wuh il n'vathu-il kling._  
Logic dictates it could be both, either or none.

_Hi vah glazau nash-veh abru na'lo'uk yel-tra- vravshau nash-veh ozhika._  
But as I look up to the infinite expanse of stars, my logic fails me.

_Worla dungi min-tor Nevasa ni ugelik va'ashiv heh dungi dumaf-tor pa'tam'aya vutaya t'teresh-kah ri wehk._  
Nevasa will never again shine so bright and the haunting call of the teresh-kah will cry no more.

* * *

**II**_**. T'ralash-fam'es (Of Silence)**_

_Nam-tor ri-wehk Gol laman n'ralash-fam svi'tesha-hi ralash-fam svi'katra._  
Gol no longer stands silent in reverence, but silent in spirit.

_Wuh'rak'kispekan felar t'ko-veh ri-wehk dahk n'samuyaun duv t'au fi'sular t'Khasi-ri nam-tor pufnau-tor n'kei le-matya ri-wehk-heh ri tal-tor gol'nev svi duv na'ko-veh._  
Her once towering peaks no longer cast their cooling shadow upon the people of T'Khasi; the fierce le-matya no longer is tamed nor finds succor in her shade.

_Ki'pehkal n'klashau t' Kolinahru heh ri-wehk lam n'Trensular vah tranush kakhaurtausular t'etek-ki'snaipal tihet kispeklar t'ovsot ozhika._  
The Kolinahru's vigil has ceased and no longer do the Masters stand as our patient guides; the steadfast pillars of Total Logic have crumbled.

_Dvun-tor wuh lo'uk esh-fam salan mes'masuk'Sas-a-Shar svi'Pasutra t'Tai-La-gla-fam-ri'sakathilau-kin-rer-ri-pufai-tor na'ek'ozhika._  
A great breathless wind strafes across the vast Forge to the Pasutra t'Tai-la, unseeing, indiscriminate, merciless; to all logic.

_Zhol-tor ish-veh fna'kuvoran suk-taklar t'kohlan shi fa'halovaun na'mesakh n'temoklar t'ish-veh-na'thinoi_.  
It whispers throughout the twisting caverns of the monastery before traveling onward beyond its walls, to waste.

_Nam-tor halovaun t'ish-veh n'klau -zahal-tor ish-veh svi'ashlar t'gol-nevsular svi'yut t'ish-veh abru'leh-teh t'asheflar fi'Heya Seleya._  
It's pilgrimage is sacrilege; it follows in the footsteps of the acolytes in its course up the thousand steps of Mt. Seleya.

_Vazgau ish-veh sadvun-tor n'kim-i'waklar t'Gad-Keshtan fa'kluhkau n'yonlar t'orfik-kel t'etek k'vi wuh'rak yontal ek'wak'es k'svi vai temoklar._  
It steals away the last moments of our Dawn before it suffocates the fires of our ancestors whom once burned eternally within its sacred walls.

_I'wak-panaz ri-wehk dorlal fas-matuhlek-ki'pusayontal. Svizh-tor vuzh goh abru' samuyaun kilyonlar t'sha'es pak t'etek._  
Now, the honored firepot no longer fumes; it has been snuffed out. The smoke only lingers above the chilling embers of our collective loss.

_Uralau shar'es t'orfik-kel fi'zhu-fam kaluklar-goh svi'hokni'es t'etek._  
The reassurance of our ancestors sings out upon deaf ears, only in our Consciousness.

_Ki'puzarahk-tor vrek'katralar fi'os pushau lan-lolar- nam-tor katralar t'orfik-kel kluhkal svi'wuh ri'naran esh._  
The Urns of Memory have been shattered upon the ancient hewn floors, the katras of our forefathers strangled in one unforgiving breath.

_Ralash-famal na'ek'wak- Puuralau uralaular t'orfik-kel t'etek goh svi'khaf-spolar t'eifa ik nam-tor ha'kiv i'wak._  
Silenced for all time, the songs of our ancestors are only sung in the hearts of those that have been spared.

_Hi na'tukhik-fo ik hafau- nam-tor etek svi'kla-min ri'nam-tor ha'kiv i'wak t'ek'es ralash-fam'es ik fator._  
But for the physical shell that remains, we have in fact not been spared of an absolute silence which persists.

_Lam nash-veh akhlami k'rishansu t'koshtri t'etek- il ra hafau t'wehk-t'va'kap-yarlar t'mazhiv i'wak dahk sadvun-tor._  
I stand amongst the survivors of our race, at least what is left of the many, of the innumerable grains of sand now cast aside.

_Lam nash-veh svi'ralash-fam'es-sayontal._  
I stand in silence, extinguished.

* * *

**_III. T'pthak (Of Fear)_**

Vokau nash-veh vah vesht tevan-tor yontaun igenlar ne'fi'vai Zhuk-Fasek -vah hutal solektra heh neshal lo'uk Seleya svi'ir. Vesht tevan-tor grazhiv t'ni wehk-kin-kur palar svi'nash koshvar.  
_I remember as the burning skies reigned down upon the sacred Forge, as the ground shook and great Seleya collapsed in the distance. The dust of so many golden ages fell upon us in this upheaval._

Vokau nash-veh uf vesht pak-tor kanlar n'tash t'au heh vesht samaf gol'nev-fam'es- pahutal- ki'nam-tor wuh'wak ek'manek t'ha'kel i'wak na'vitem-tor ek'etek.  
_I recollect how the children lost their control and cried out helpless, distraught; what was once the safety of home now meant to swallow us all._

Kanok-vel svi'yailar- Puyontal T'Khasi s'lo'uk Ket-Cheleb t'sutra-varu-kispekan avon'es abru'etek-aitlun-bosh.  
_Everything in flames, T'Khasi was consumed by the Ket-cheleb of legend, towering over us hungrily, greedily._

Ri'd'thin'es.  
_Unconscionably._

Fo-danal bezunlar t'nash-veh s'dash heh vesht sada-tor.  
_I shielded my eyes and turned away._

Sadvun-tor-nantau goh sagla-fam'es vi'dan mu'gel gadlar fna'thresh ozhlar-saglantaun na'vashauk masuk'yon fi'if hufal ra vesht nam-tor hufau t'thol heh os koshtri t'etek.  
_Away, only to stare blindly out into the darkest of days through split fingers, peeking out towards the devastating pyre on which remained what was left of our noble and ancient race._

Na'ek'Yontaun-Khaf t'etek- vesht dva-tor nash-veh tra vesht nam-tor kling t'etek t'wi vesht kup ma tehnau ni maut nemut'es.  
_For all of our Burning Blood, I believed there was none of us whom could have withstood such overwhelming adversity._

Shivau-hufal nash-veh skamal- vesht kum-tor svi'grei beglanaya ta vesht nam-tor neshan sha'khaf-spol t'nash-veh vi'vitushlar- neshaun k'svi n'hufau t'panu t'nash-veh.  
_Immobile, I remained entranced, caught in the sublime realization that my very heart was blackening to ashes, collapsing within me with the rest of my world._

Vesht rish-tor nash-veh svi'ish-wak na'gla-tor goh kanok-vel ki'vaik pufai-tor nash-veh nam-tor netakidal na'yonek heh grazhiv.  
_I survived in that moment to only see everything I have ever known reduced to tinder and dust._

Vesht ar'kada nash-veh na'hayal sha't'nash-veh-na'tal-tor hiyet nahr na'glantau k'svi na'karik'es heh zek-savenan-kau zhit-bal vesht dvun-tor s'orfik-kel t'etek na'kakhartau nash-veh.  
_I worked to compose myself, to find enough discipline to look within for strength and order; a teaching, an axiom, a wise phrase passed from our ancestors to guide me._

Hi ki'nam-tor ri zhitlar ta vesht kup nam-tor skan'es na'nash-veh- hufau ri ozhika na'datau nash-veh fi'yeht yut.  
_But there were no such words that could convince me, no logic left to propel me on a true course._

Vesht nam-tor goh n'os-shidik kusut vah vesht do-tor khaf-spol t'nash-veh na'vitush svi'vla t'nash-veh- vah markal kilyonlar t'ish-veh abru'le-na'kuvoran yellar k'Ek- heh hufau t'nash-veh hufal vesht ri'dvun-tor.  
_There was only the visceral ache as my heart turned to cinder in my side, as the embers of it floated up towards the stars to entwine with the All, and the rest of me remained unmoved._

Vesht aitlu nash-veh nem-tor wuh'is-fam ash fa'rak na'torai- fan-torai- hi vesht nam-tor nash-veh kup'es t'pla'halan goh.  
_I wanted to take a futile step forward to action, any action, but I was capable of only stumbling back._

Vesht pla'tevan-tor nash-veh pa'ash-yutik-is-fam vi'yontaun ha'kel- vesht ikap-tor wufik'es bezunlar t'nash-veh vah bikal n'ha'kiv t'nash-veh yontau sadvin na'ri'el - Sadalal katra t'nash-veh na'sov-fam gosh t'stuhk- nam-tor veh k'ri-vel vah kuv ki'worla kyal'wuh.  
_I fell flat, supine, useless into a burning house; my eyes closed tightly as I visualized my life seared away to nothing, my katra released to the airless vacuum of space to be one with nothing, as if one had never existed at all._

Ri'sahran-ti ri'dvunan-vulal n'potam heh ak'shem hutaun- svi'sviribaun na'zam-i'waklar maut k'yon-sha'ti t'tveshu t'etek-vohris-kal'er'val-shonal.  
_Instead of running, I lay still, head bent and quaking, in contact for a few moments more with the hearth of our origin. Inert, stupefied, engulfed._

Ri'nam-tor nash-veh n'korkarplasu heh siyah ri'rishansu- vesht dvin-tor goh torai-fam t'nash-veh na'korsau nash-veh- heh vesht nam-tor rufai t'nash-veh abru'ni wehk-i'wak pakik goh ri'kup'es.  
_I am no hero, and barely even a survivor; only my inaction served to spare me, and my advantage over so many now lost was mere inability._

Vesht kup ki'tor nash-veh ra Vesht kup ki'tor fan t'etek ra  
_What could I have done? What could any of us have done?_

Svi'aifa kim-i'waklar ki'mesavulal nash-veh na'sok'i tepul du' vesht puhufal tum-fam vathular na'yonol-tor- ki'she-tor nash-veh vi'ek'man'es t'oigenlar- ri'kup stron-tor na'dvun n'elru t'nash-veh fa'rak- na'ruskarau is-fam'es wuh kim-i'wak na'ra zam-hufal.  
_In those last moments I turned to pure energy while countless others were left to char; I ascended into the safety of the heavens, unable even in escape to urge my hand forward, to grasp fruitlessly one last time at what little remained._

Saven-tor Surak na'etek dakh'voh n'pthak- ta ri'nam-tor ret na'fan-vel abi'dakh'voh pthak du.  
_Surak teaches us to cast out fear, that there is no room for anything else until you cast out fear. _

_Tehnat n'li-fal t'ish-veh- ik korsal sular t'etek ni'wu'i'wak svi'vesht-svi'Kum'i'es n'tehnat rikesik shaiklar- ki'nehkal nash-veh na'yuk svi'yontaun ha'kel- aitlun n'neshaya t'ish-veh.  
Despite his example, of which saved our people so long ago in the Awakening against improbable odds, I had surrendered to sleep in this burning house, willing its collapse._

Kal'voh ish-veh nem-tor torai lu ri'kup nash-veh.  
_Let it take action when I could not._

Kal'voh n'lap-tukh t'ish yontaun suk'ha'kel tevan-tor-firan svi'udish n'temoklar.  
_Let the timbers of this blazing manor fall, the walls to brace inward._

Kal'voh ish-veh tor ra ish-veh vun vah nam-tor nash-veh ri'kup'es-na'hufau nash-veh shivau svi'yon-sha'ti.  
_Let it do what it must as I was unable, for I remain still of the hearth._

* * *

**IV. _T'reshan (Of Anger)_**

Trashal s'nash-veh-wi worla trashal-vaik heh kwon-sum estuhlan heh estuhal.  
_Parted from me, yet never parted; ever and always touching and touched_.

Tresal s'nash-veh heh tresal k'wuhli- olal nash-veh wuh abru'tepulan yontaun k'svi khaf-spol t'nash-veh na'vashaya t'T'Khasi svi'kim-iyiwaklar_  
Ripped from me and torn asunder, I felt an overpowering burning within my heart in the final moments of T'Khasi's destruction._

_Vesht nam-tor nash-veh svi'ekman'es fihaliyan wuh hali goh wadanlar s'ha-kel- heh odu -vesht nam-tor odu ni'beik vesht kup fnish-tor nash-veh n'wilnuhk t'kevas svi'isachya t'odu.  
I was safely aboard a freighter only hours from home, and you; you were so close I could smell the kevas incense in your hair._

Ni'beik- kup olau nash-veh n'falek t'Nevasa fi'nak t'nash-veh.  
_So close, I could almost feel the heat of Nevasa on my cheek. _

Vlak'es- vesht tal-tor nash-veh ta kup goh ruskarau heh runem-tor gol'nev-fam'es na'tvi'temok vah vesht zhu-tor nash-veh n'kim-nahplar t'odu n'yontau mes'kashek t'nash-veh- kim-thonayal sheilar n'krasal fi'sha katra t'nash-veh vah vesht pumesuvulal panu t'etek na'ri'yauluhk tuhklar.

_Suddenly, I found that I could only gasp and clutch helplessly at the bulkhead as I heard your last thoughts sear across my mind, your final anguished screams emblazoned on my very soul as our world was rendered to insignificant debris. _

Ki'pulal nash-veh na'odu- ek'dvunek-tersayek heh dvunek n'sebastik heh sutan- vesht kwul-tor vi'movek slaun faian ta torai nam-tor is-fam. Vesht fai-tor nash-veh svi'iyiwaklar ta vesht nam-tor i'wak nuh'tab-ma  
_I reached out for you, every tendon and muscle taut and aching, slammed my fists into the metal plating knowing the action was futile. I knew in moments it was already too late._

Vah vesht ikap-tor n'bezunlar t'nash-veh heh arkadal na'fereik-tor n'kash-ral t'vash t'odu- vesht kup worla ki'tumal nash-veh n'ovsot yigahdaya ta vesht dungi limuk ak nash-veh. Vesht kup goh bikuv-tor n'odu svi'ha'kel t'etek svi'T'Paal- pulaun na'oigenlar vah gol-nev-fam'es vah na'odu nash-veh mes'hasbosh-ret.  
_As I closed my eyes and tried to make sense of your terror, I could never have calculated the total ruin I would soon face. I could only visualize you in our home in T'Paal, reaching towards the heavens as helplessly as I towards you across empty space_. _  
_  
Samutal-vesht ki'eital-tor ak nash-veh ta tra ki'nam-tor ruhm ri'vukhut na'vetsau-hufau ri ha'kel na'svi'tushau. Ki'hafal rim t'ha'kivlar t'etek teretuhr.  
_Diverted away, I had soon discovered there was not even a body to recover, not a home left to grieve in. Nothing of our lives together remained._

Nem-tor nash-veh k'tik esh- nam-tor nash-veh zakashtal t'lo'uk herbosh'es t'tadek-adir'es t'odu heh vesht puplesh-tor na'nahish fi'katra t'nash-veh t'kim-esh t'odu. Tal-tor nash-veh nash shatipik torai t'eshan nam-tor goh hufayat t'kaha'kivlar t'etek wuh'wak terishal._  
With each breath I now take, I am reminded of the great emptiness of your absence and am crushed by the imprint on my soul of your last breath. I find this involuntary action of breathing is the only remnant of our lives once intertwined. _

Svi'haulan fi'lo'uk kau t'oSurak- saven-tor ish-veh na'etek ta latesal pthak wilat- vesht nam-tor fnu-ven n'besu t'ish-veh. Vokau nash-veh lu dungi orenal etek n'Savenanlar teretuhr- uf vesht nem-tor nash-veh eifa zitlar na'khaf-spol- shar-tor svi'kakhartaya t'au heh sahrafelan ta fna'tun-bosh nahr vesht fai-tor rim t'etek n'reshan il pthak.  
_In reflecting upon the great wisdom of Surak, he teaches us that "Where fear walked, anger was its companion." I remember when we would study The Analects together, how I took those words to heart, secure in their guidance and trusting that through careful discipline neither of us would know anger or fear. _

Hi svi'olaun n'eilbak heh tevahk t'odu- kup i'wak nash-veh ri gol-nev hi nah-tor ta ma rim hafau nash-veh- na'pthak n'k'puu t'ek-po'ovsot vashaya t'ha'kel t'nash-veh heh ek'ki'pufai-tor heh taluhkal-t'kanok-vel ta mesprah nash-veh vah wuhsu svi'tukhik abukhaya-shal._  
But in feeling your dread and death, now I can not help but think that I have nothing left, least of all to fear, after the total annihilation of my home and of all that I have ever known and cherished; of everything in the physical realm that defined me as an individual. _

_Heh t'odu.  
And of you. _

Sauyau na'waklar ta ma ek'hafal n'nam-tor na'ska'ash'yau rik svi'tash-bosh t'sha'reshan t'nash-veh; ki'vashal n'Ket-Cheleb ek'taluhk na'nash-veh- hi sapsau nash-veh t'ish-veh vah goh mohk heh utan'es. Psau nash-veh n'kobat'es heh ri'dvun-kup'es dungi wilat ma hafau rim t'sha't'nash-veh._  
At times it seems that all I have left is to stumble drunkenly full of my own anger; Ket-cheleb destroyed all that was precious to me, yet I seek him out as sole comfort and companion. I seek his strength and indomitable will where I have none left of my own._

Hi nam-tor riozhikaik heh nam-tor ri-yeht na'abutsuplau na'aitlunlar t'veh- lu wapudvubolau na'zherka vah tehvar-bosh vah reshan._  
But it is illogical and it is wrong to succumb to one's desires, especially when motivated by an emotion as dangerous as anger. _

Hi-tal-tor sha't'nash-veh kwon-sum na'pakik svi'kohlan- rik'nahr il ozhika- ri'kup fereik-tor kunli'es n'nash bolau svi'nash-veh na'sapaskor-tor tehnat eifa ta ki'ri-yehat ek't'etek. Vah puketal panu t'etek svi'yon- isha puketal sha'khaf-spol t'nash-veh k'abru'tepulan bolaya na'nem-tor torai- na'tres-tor eifa ta vesht dungi klau odu- na'tres-tor k'wuhli n'au heh trasha n'au vah nam-tor nash-veh hafau-k'rim._  
Yet, I routinely find myself at a loss in meditation, lacking discipline or logic, unable to satisfy this need in me to lash out against those who have wronged all of us. As our world was consumed in fire, so is my very heart consumed with the overwhelming need to take action, to tear those who would hurt you, to rip them apart and leave them as I am left; with nothing. _

Hi-fai-tor nash-veh ta na'tor kriv'tuhk vesht dungi dvin-tor goh na'tor nash-veh vah risanemal heh rasayutau vah rasahkos vah eifa k'vi ek'stal dan t'elkhrul-khostri t'etek._  
But, I know that to do such a thing would only serve to make me as depraved and corrupt as those who so mercilessly obliterated most of our entire race._

Vah svi'ha'kiv -kau heh utvau-bosh'es t'li-falar t'odu pla'seshau heh hayal n'ash t'nash-veh. Vesht dungi nam-tor ri'dvin-tor t'odu heh na'ha'kiv ik vuhrgwal etek teretuhr wuh'wak na'kal reshan na'abukhau. Svi'shaht-v'yak tal-tor nash va'es rihagik na'kaha'kiv rim odu- vesht dungi kalan n'reshan t'nash-veh na'reshan rubau fan t'nash uf.  
_As in life, the wisdom and rationality of your example pulls me back and sobers my step. It would be a disservice to you and to the life we once shared together to allow anger to rule. In the end, while I find it immeasurably difficult to live without you, how would allowing my anger to reign change any of this?_

Nam-tor ra- nam-tor (kaiidth)  
_What is, is. (Kaiidth.)_

Putrashal odu heh ek'hafau nam-tor na'nash-veh na'dor-tor odu._  
You are gone and all that is left is me to honor you._

Trashal s'nash-veh-wi worla trashal- dungi vokau kwun-som n'odu k'tik zupal esh.  
_Parted from me, yet never parted, I will always remember you with each labored breath._

* * *

Notes:

I:  
1\. The opening excerpt from Surak's _Third_ _Analects_ is mentioned in the novel _Vulcan's Soul: Exiles_ by Josepha Sherman and Susan Shwartz.  
2\. The All or _Nome_, is a central concept of Vulcan philosophy and states _"An infinite variety of things combine to make existence worthwhile."_  
3\. Sas-a-Shar is the name of the desert that extends from the capital city of Shikahr, Vulcan.  
4\. _"Logic is the cement of our civilization, with which we ascend from chaos using reason as our guide."_ is a quote attributed to T'Plana-Hath, one of Vulcan's greatest philosophers from before The Time of the Awakening. Surak was a student of T'Plana-Hath, and she is often called "The Prime Mover of Logic."  
5\. The Sundered are Vulcans who left during Pre-Reform, who eventually become better known as Romulans.  
6\. Nevasa is the name for T'Khasi's sun. It is better known as 40 Eridani A.  
7\. A teresh-kah is a silver winged predatory bird that would be typically found flying over the Forge.

II:  
1\. Pasutra t'Tai-la, the Plateau of Tai-la, is a sacred plain where adepts fulfil the final rites before becoming a Kolinahru.  
2\. Vulcans are telepathically aware of each other in a collective consciousness although as individuals they function autonomously.  
3\. The Hall of Ancient Thought was attached underground to the Monastery of Gol and housed the vre'katras containing the essences of T'Khasi's most revered ancestors. An 'Urn of Memory' or vre'katra is a sacred crystaline vessel made of volcanic glass called _jasif, _and contains a single katra. (_The_ _Way of the Kolinahr_, Last Unicorn Games)

III.  
1\. Ket-cheleb is known as The Drinker of Blood, the god of anger and destruction, an entity who consumes mercilessly.  
2\. Burning Blood compares thru situation to the madness, entropy and loss of control experienced in pon farr. Much like the how a Vulcan is a victim of their own biology, they are also a victim in this scenario of destruction and terror outside of their control.  
3\. Hearth refers to a fireplace, not Earth.  
3._ "There is no room for anything else until you cast out fear" _is attributed to Surak. While one must acknowledge that fear exists, you can also not simply pretend to not be fearful. Acceptance of fear is the only way to conquer it. One must experience and move through this emotion; in that way, it is possible to move beyond it and in turn, past the Unknown.

IV.  
1\. "Parted from me yet never parted..." is the traditional phrase said between intended bondmates during _the koon-ut so'lik_, the Vulcan marriage proposal, as well as at the beginning of the _kun-ut kali-fi_ marriage ritual.  
2\. Kevas is an organic compound burned in Vulcan homes and shrines as ritual incense. It is commonly traded by Vulcan merchants, usually in tandem with trillium.  
3\. T'Paal is a larger settlement located southwest of the monastery of Gol and overlooks the Voroth Sea.  
4\. _Kaiidth_ is a common axiom repeated among Vulcans which reaffirms the futility of arguing or fighting against a state of events that are immutable.


End file.
